It’s been two days now. Not much has changed. There has been some ups but most downs. I tried out the plastic bag just to see if I had the guts. Once inside I figured, what the hell, let’s do this. I breath a couple of times and felt the oxygen slowly but surely decreasing… until I realized there was a hole in the bag. A question pops in my head;
How big of a fuck up is he who not only doesn’t succeed in living his life but also fails in ending it?
Yesterday I dreamed about a smiling face, a loving and friendly face leaning towards me with a kiss filled with love. I’m telling myself I would’ve missed this dream had I succeeded a couple of days ago but then again it’s not the dream I want, it’s the reality. The emotion in that dream, so passionate, so overwhelmed with love, so right… where is it in real life? Will I ever experience it again? Will I endure this struggle some call life or will I just go for another plastic bag with no holes? Feels like there are no bananas left for this old Gorillachimp.